Here's a failure of imagination on my part. I can't get inside the mindset of a homophobe. To be a little more precise, I can't understand how a person can be revolted and disgusted by gay sex, yet thrilled and excited by straight sex. It's all sex. I could, I suppose, understand somebody who found sex revolting tout court; and once upon a time -- but a long, long time ago, surely -- culture defined sexual practice in more gender-determined ways (the missionary position for straights, sodomy for gays) so hating homosexuality was a way of indicating one's preferences in such matters. But surely one of the fundamental problems 'homophobia' faces today is that straights and gays all get up to pretty much the same stuff in bed. It's incoherent to hate and fear sex and to love and desire sex at the same time.
... and, of course, when I put it like that I get to the nub of the matter. Hatred and fear is not coherent, or logical. Homophobes don't occupy a rational position. Homophobes hate and fear because they love and desire.